Yep, these are my friends.

Actual IM's I've received in the last week (names changed to protect the...uh...innocent):

Jim Bob: justified or no: if you're trying to get out of your seat on the BART and the person between you and the aisle doesn't stand up to let you out...you fart in their face as you get up

Candy Sue: haha yes. i'm no longer drinking the kool aid because the kool aid is urine